Chrissie Hynde’s advice to chick rockers

• Don’t moan about being a chick, refer to feminism or complain about sexist discrimination. We’ve all been thrown down stairs and f—ed about, but no one wants to hear a whining female. Write a loosely disguised song about it instead and clean up ($).

• Never pretend you know more than you do. If you don’t know chord names, refer to the dots. Don’t go near the desk unless you plan on becoming an engineer.

• Make the other band members look and sound good. Bring out the best in them; that’s your job. Oh, and you better sound good, too.

• Do not insist on working with “females”; that’s just more b.s. Get the best man for the job. If it happens to be a woman, great — you’ll have someone to go to department stores with on tour instead of making one of the road crew go with you.

• Try not to have a sexual relationship within the band. It always ends in tears.

• Don’t think that sticking your boobs out and trying to look f-able will help. Remember you’re in a rock and roll band. It’s not “f— me,” it’s “f— you”!

• Don’t try to compete with the guys; it won’t impress anybody. Remember, one of the reasons they like you is because you don’t offer yet more competition to the already existing male egos.

• If you sing, don’t “belt” or “screech.” No one wants to hear that sh–; it sounds “hysterical.”

• Shave your legs, for chrissakes!

• Don’t take advice from people like me. Do your own thing always.

From Sire Records’ press release for Pretenders’ “Last of the Independents” issue.

About Patrick Prince

Patrick Prince is the Editor of Goldmine

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