Joe Walsh biography from 1985 stands the test of time

EDITOR’S NOTE: This biography of Joe Walsh was written in the first person and distributed by Warner Bros. records at the time his “Confessor” album was released in 1985. It made us laugh out loud, so we wanted to share the fun. We are running it EXACTLY as it appeared in the news release (yes, the skipped and repeated numbers were part of the news release). We hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

JOE WALSH
I was born on November 20, 1947, in a place called Wichita, Kansas. I was 0 years old. Wichita is almost exactly in the middle of the continental United States, if you ignore Alaska and Hawaii. Most folks in Kansas do. Wichita is also famous for being called “The Airplane Capital,” which it is, but I’m not sure how important this is outside Kansas. I’m sure it’s not a priority in Alaska or Hawaii. Kansas is also where Dorothy and Toto lived once. To the best of my knowledge, I was not born in New York, and whoever started that rumor is full of beans.

Joe Walsh. Warner Bros. publicity photo.

Joe Walsh. Warner Bros. publicity photo.

Places I have lived:
1. Wichita, Kansas
2. Evanston, Illinois
3. Columbus, Ohio
4. Flushing, Long Island, New York (Queens)
5. Montclair, New Jersey
6. Kent, Ohio
7. Ipswich, Massachusetts
9. Nederland, Colorado
10. Boulder, Colorado
11. Los Angeles, California
12. In Irving Azoff’s car
14. Santa Barbara, California
15. Coconut Grove, Florida
16. Ringo’s house
17. Nowhere
19. Los Angeles, California, where I currently live as far as I can tell.

 

Things I have done:
— Produced albums for Dan Fogelberg and Ringo.
— Ran for President of the United States.
— Played on everybody’s albums.
— Flown in the Concorde.
— Met Robert Mitchum.

Brief summary of my careers:
1. Member of the James Gang (“Funk #49,” “Walk-Away”).
1. Ex-member of the James Gang.
2. Leader and founding member of Barnstorm (“Rocky Mt. Way”).
2. Only member of Barnstorm.
3. Brief but glorious solo career, So What, You Can’t Argue With A Sick Mind, ending with much public head-scratching because of career #4.
4. Member of The Eagles Hotel California (1977), Long Run (1979), during which also made 1 solo album, But Seriously Folks.

– Brief Interlude –
5. Right around in here somewhere is my present career — In a couple of years, I’ll be able to tell you how I did.

Things that might be interesting to know about me:
— I attended Kent State University regularly over a 6-year period without graduation.
— One time I crashed in a Boeing 727.
— Yes, on occasion I do saw up hotel rooms with chain saws and throw the pieces out the window. Why not?
— I have absolutely no idea whether I have a Maserati or not … probably. It would seem logical.
— No, I do not need a new nose.
— I prefer B.B. King to Don Ho.

Things that people like to ask:
— What does “The Smoker You Drink, The Player You Get” mean?
— “Where are you from?” (I’m from Ohio, I don’t know why.)
— “Hey Joe, what ever happened to the guys in the James Gang?”
— “Hey Joe, I love that song of yours — how does it go?”

My hobbies include such activities as:
Amateur radio (since 1962), blacksmithing (honest). Arguing all night about politics, (or, for that matter — anything.) Hooking stuff up to see if it works, and beer.

What my new album, The Confessor is about:
My new album, The Confessor, is about 20 minutes a side.

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