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Not even Slash can save Super Bowl halftime show

When was the Super Bowl halftime show ever cool? Bring back the marching bands!

By Pat Prince


Nothing can drive me from a room, or waterboard me in a room, faster than Black Eyed Peas. Well, maybe Wham! and Lady Gaga but that's besides the point.

It was the Black Eyed Peas that played an over-the-top Super Bowl XLV halftime show that would've made PT Barnum proud, proving that they may be the best band suited for this type of cultural extravaganza.

The Super Bowl has become hard enough to watch — with its hoopla, overrated commercials and blowhard commentary. It has become more a spectacle than a game. And, with it, the halftime show has become more a spectacle than a concert.

So I was more than happy to skip the halftime show altogether until I heard Slash was showing up. I forced myself to watch it.

Of course, the Black Eyed Peas were as expected. Then Slash appeared with a sparkling top-hat, Vegas-style, kicking out the licks to Guns N' Roses' classic "Sweet Child O' Mine." As silly as it looked, Slash was dead-on, and alongside him Fergie did some heartfelt vocals. It wasn't horrible (like the songs that followed) but it did make me long for Axl Rose in all his obnoxious glory.

“There's is nothing cooler than performing at the Super Bowl. It’s been a terrific experience to say the least!" Slash later said.

No, there's nothing like it. He's right about that. But when was the Super Bowl halftime show ever 'cool'?

Cool is watching the Stones at the Beacon, or Zeppelin at O2. Cool is attending Coachella or Bonnaroo. Cool is making the rounds at SxSW or CMJ ...

Sorry, Slash. It's hard to define the Super Bowl halftime show as cool.

Slash may see a slight spike in record sales, while many of those who watched will be at a loss whether they've heard his music in a Chevy truck commercial or a CSI theme song.

Bring back the college marching bands.